Surrounded by Friends
Did you ever hear that song by the group back in the 90’s TLC. “What about your friends”. My favorite questions asked in the song, though I may view differently than the artist intended.
“Will they stand their ground?”
“Will, they let you down again?” Friendship is about reciprocity and relationship. Just like an intimate relationship, if it is one sided or grossly imbalanced for an extended period, things become weighted, strained, and soon weak before it breaks. When you build a friendship, you need to find out why you want it and how you can feed it.
The second line says, “Will they stand their ground” I appreciate this because each of our lives and experiences provide a lens in which we view life. Our tolerance, acceptance and belief create our passions and driving forces. If a we not grounded in the things that hold value and importance to us, chances are we will not be true with our friendships standing up for things that support them. When we stand our ground on our beliefs we show boundaries and demonstrate that we will stand against those things we feel our disruptive to our well-being.
If your friend is there for you, If they don’t “let you down again”, as the song says, Treasure it. Make it work! Foundation determines a Structure. Strong Foundations last for years. How many archaeological structures are still standing because more than one person made sure the foundation was built correctly? Do your part and make your friends do their part in the relationship. If communication is healthy these topics will only yield fruitfulness in the relationship.
Ladies when you find your group, I mean, The group with both differences, similarities, and the core belief is love and unity, you have found your tribe! Be there for one another, be intentional and purposeful. There is not an exact timing for the amount of nurturing for friendships. Some friends only need weekly interactions, monthly or even annually. When building relationships its important to know what is needed as well as how much you can give. Your friends, your tribe, they need you, and you need them. You do not have to limit yourself to one tribe or group of friends but realize you can only divide yourself so far before something starts to strain or begin to feel broken.
Surround yourself with The group who will offer sound counsel, who you can build up, who can learn and be built up and who can hear when you speak from the heart. I have to say I have not been able to connect as I want to, but when I say I have had a meaningful text feed through a problematic time….it has added to boost my morale. Thank you to The Group of girls I have become connected to from New Orleans to Cali and every place in between.